The more I grow, the less I know (2)



By Marta Zerbini (1994) LSP Assisi / Italy

My life is changing quickly: I’ve just turned 18 and I feel much more responsible than I was … and this scares me.

I can vote, but I don’t know who for. I can take my driving license, but I know I must be very careful. I will finish school in June, but I will have to take an important decision.

I have to decide what kind of life I would like to have:  if I want to go to university (and which faculty?) or if I prefer to travel around the world for one year and learn another language,  or maybe it’s better to look for a job, earn some money and stop being dependent on my family…

The hard thing is to take a decision in such a short time having no ideas, while my friends know perfectly what to do.

The  problem is that   I am very close to my family and I get homesick easily. I’m very attached to my town, my habits and my friends, and I do not believe that I could leave  all this  without knowing if I’ll ever come back, even if I love travelling and visiting new places.

I suppose that I will move from here anyway because in my area I won’t be able to study any of the  University subjects I like, like Architecture or Psychology , and it would be very hard to pass the admission test  to study Medicine. Furthermore, this period of financial and political instability is shaking all  my certainties: all the professions I am interested in have so many unemployed people who are qualified that I am no longer motivated to study and improve myself.

I would like to find something  useful that I like, in which I can channel my energy, my time and my future … but  uncertainty  blocks me and influences my choices.

This is changing my life: I am more and more fearful about the future, and thinking about it  I can’t enjoy the present.

2 Responses to “The more I grow, the less I know (2)”

  1. Hi! Your article is very interesting! I am currently going through the similar problems. I am in the tenth grade and at the end of this school year I will have to choose subjects that I want to continue to study in the eleventh and twelfth grades. This means that I already have to decide what I will want to study in university, so I can take required exams. It’s very difficult and I’m scared, because I can decide one thing now and maybe this time next year I will want to study another subject. But I believe in myself and hope, that when the time comes I will make the best choice for me. I wish you to decide what you want from your life and successfully live in the present with no worries about the future. :)

  2. Comment from Silvia Knödlstorfer (BORG KREMS, 1996):
    The same here. I totally understand your anxiety; it’s hard to make such decisions in a rather short time. I also wish I could travel the world, but I am also a bit scared of leaving my family and friends. I can’t help it, the feeling that I would miss some important moments while I am gone, do not vanish. Life is changing a lot for everyone, so you are not alone. My whole life plans are based on one university admission, and if they do not take me I do not have any idea for my future. To be honest, the future surely scares most people. But I believe in a good future, and I am sure you will make the right decisions.